Today started out as well as any day could when a child goes through this. (However we are new at this so I can’t back that statement up) up at 6:00am, had to give Gabby her Temodar at 7:00. Then back through the underground tunnels to radiation.
On the way over, I decided I would take the advice of my mother and mother-in-law. I would start noting all the good and silly things I saw through-out the day that Gabby did or made her laugh or smile. This way I could talk to Gabby about them later.
- We got Gabby to laugh when I asked her if she would like it if mom ate a fig newton out of my belly button! Hey it worked!
- Watched Mom Sing Justin Bieber to Gabby.
- Amazed how silly it looks when 5 doctors are all in one little room surrounding one scared little girl. Like a waddle of penguins.
- I snuck down to the art room and watched Gabby create art by blowing paint through a straw. Heartwarming!
- I got her to laugh in a way she could by wearing the crab hat and a purple pillow around my neck while singing Bob Marley and Patsy Cline. (The girl likes all kinds of music!)
- Made her laugh by telling her if she pressed different parts of my face different sounds happened. She got stuck on jabbing me in both eyes and listening to me say shut the door, open the door
Gabby went to therapy and I went with her. I realized this is to help but she kept screaming she wants to go back to bed. I wanted to throw the therapists out of the way and rush her back, instead I sat there head down and tried to smile in case Gabby looked over at me, which she did . I hope she realizes I wasn’t abandoning her but I’m trying to let them get her better.
We got back to the room, Gabby took a nap while Carolynn and I watched her sleep. It was the 5th Anniversary of the Ronald McDonald house, face painting, Ronald and raffles. We convinced Gabby to go, thinking it was good for her to get out of bed. Instantly I could tell she wanted out. She had them paint a penguin on her arm. As I watched her face I almost cried wondering, is she in there, is this what she wants, does this make her happy?
As soon as we got back to the room and I placed her in bed, Carolynn screamed “she’s going to get sick, get something”. Well, we didn’t have time to get the bowl under there. She got sick on her huge yellow fuzzy blanket and her pillow pet, along with herself. She seemed dazed and confused, Carolynn remained strong as I’m holding back tears as I wash away the little penguin they painted on her arm. Replaying in my head not more that a few weeks ago at the Phoenixville Dogwood Festival she had her whole face painted, rode the bumper cars with me and ate more cotton candy than humanly possible! Now I’m praying she will eat a cracker and take a sip of water as I rub her feet and we watch The Little Mermaid. Carolynn is coloring a picture for her, a form of therapy of sorts. Try it get lost in it. They hooked Gab up to hydrate and administer Zofran for her stomach. We were hoping her port would be unaccessed after radiation tomorrow, doesn’t look like that will happen now.
We have met some amazing people on this floor and heard about and met some amazing brave children going through things we haven’t yet experienced. I feel bad talking about this while they suffer what seems like so much more. So tonight I ask you to not only believe for Gabby, but BELIEVE for all of them as well: LUCA, TREY, COREY, MACKENZIE, GIULIANNA, HALEY and the rest that we haven’t met. BELIEVE in these kids, BELIEVE in their Parents, BELIEVE in miracles,