I’ve managed to leave Chop a handful of times over the last 3 ½ weeks. It’s never easy and I always feel like I’m leaving Gabby so it’s a struggle. Then coming back it hurts again because it hits you all over that this is really happening and it isn’t just a nightmare.
Whenever I leave to pick things up it’s always the same. The house is cold, empty, and dark. Everywhere you look there is a reason to cry. Nothing brings the tears to my eyes like looking at the last few years of photos saved on our computer, hanging on the walls, or sitting next to the bed.
For those of you viewing this on Care Pages I have added the photos I am talking about below in the gallery, however if you would like to see them in the blog next to the description. Visit Gabbys website at getwellgabby.org
sorry Care Pages won’t let you add photos in the blog
We take them, look at them, and store them away. They capture beautiful times in our lives. They can remind of us of silly vacations, specific instances when we were happiest, or something that caught our eye and we needed to remember it forever. The problem is how often do we look at these photos? Take these two photos for example, I took them with my phone one day while hanging out with Gabby and didn’t really look at them again until all this started. In the one photo where she is leaning against my head it looks like she is saying something. I so badly want to know what it was. I want to remember what her fingers felt like on my head, the way her cheek felt resting against me. The other photo she has a tiny little smile. What made her smile like that? These are the thoughts I have as I look through every picture we have on the computer. I ask myself, why do you keep doing this? Why feel this pain? The answer is simple I may not know what she was smiling about, but I do see she was smiling and I was there. That’s the beauty of photos, as sad as they can make you, they can also help you remember better times, the best times. They help you remember the times you are with the ones you love.
The saying goes a picture is worth a thousand words. Break out your photos with your loved ones and relive these memories. Appreciate every minute with them, laugh, cry, remember. Help each other remember what you were thinking, what you were smiling about, what the moment felt like. I ask you to do this because you never know when you might not have that opportunity to do that again.
Tonight I won’t be giving you a list of funny and silly things that happened today, instead let’s look at the photos that we took of Gabby today. I can let you know why they were taken and what the feeling was that they brought out. These photos are the list of things that made the day worth living. I can tell you that the photos today only brought joy and happiness…
First laugh in 3 ½ weeks
Gabbys port was deaccessed today. There was a chance this wasn’t going to happen, but luckily it did. Gabby was looking forward to getting in the pool for therapy today. She floated with her Therapist using a squirt gun to soak Carolynn. She slowly smiled then laughed! She then managed to squirt me, both her sisters, and her Nana and Pop Pop.
Playing beach ball
Gabby tossed the beach ball back and forth to her sisters. Madison was the gentle sister and tossed it back and forth. Katie just kept bouncing it on Gabbys head. She loved every minute of it. More smiles!!
Speech Therapy/ Laugh Therapy
During Gabby’s speech therapy session she used a microphone to make images on the computer move across the screen. She stated the game and then handed the microphone over to her sisters. Three giggling girls were in the room laughing about the voices they were making as well as who was successful moving the images across the screen. We have not heard Gabby talk so much in the last few weeks. She actually had a “belly laugh”, it was great!
Music therapy always a big hit. Gabby and the family had a drum circle, followed by some piano by Katie, a little bass by Madison, and electric guitar by Pop Pop. Smiles around the room. This ended the day of therapy, a long day but a good day.
Photographs are powerful, these four alone show a little girl fighting her way back, trying to find the path she was once on. They also show the happiness she gets from her family. Photos help you remember what you can easily forget, how important every minute of your life is. Most show just how important your family can be when you need to laugh. How important they can be to help you find your way back, to find your way home.